The Fear of Risk
12/12/02

I was fired from pastoral ministry.

I remember vividly my emotions. I did not feel embarrassment, for I had worked hard. Instead, I felt contrition. My eyes had been opened. Here I had given myself almost completely to building the dream of planting a new church. The congregation was formed, but too new to survive my firing. All my effort would be wiped away. I had given myself to what? To dust. My dreams crumbled before me.
I learned that day and repented. I repented of over-valuing my efforts. I am not God. I repented of placing ministry over family. Although I had always said my family was a top priority, I did not live it out. Now, I realized experientially their importance - what remains when all else crumbles around you. I committed myself to live out that importance through time spent with them.

One other emotion hit me hard within half an hour of receiving the news. It was a feeling of freedom. The specter of being fired was lurking in the background, a vague uneasiness, a check on what I might really want to do. Now that it had actually happened to me, I was released from the fear of losing my job. Somehow, it didn't seem as bad as I thought it would be Ever since, I can say, "The worst they can do is fire you." And, I've already been through it. Fear, it turned out, has far less power than I imagined. The fear has been replaced with freedom.

The firing lasted about a week. The "powers that be" that fired me turned out to be a power of one. I re-gained my position.
 
Let me put what I am saying into theological terms. Ray Anderson, professor at Fuller Theological Seminary, in his book, Ministry on the Fireline, says this: "Jesus serves the Father on behalf of the world. He does not serve the world on behalf of the Father." Three questions then:
         What do you think of the quote? Whose servant are you?
         What are you pursuing in your life that is worth the risk?
         Are you free to follow the leading of Jesus Christ in your life, genuinely free?
 
- Cliff Jones - Country Club Christian Church, Kansas City, MO